Queermunity interviews Chloé Viau; discussing her transitioning journey, her work with LGBTQ+ organisations, and the older LGBT+ population.
What is your story?
I am a 71-year old transgender woman. Today I consider myself a Transgender Baby-boomer, born after the war in 1949 in Canada in the province of Quebec in Montreal.
You have to understand that since I was eight years old, when my sister was born, I realized that we were different from each other. My boy's penis did not look like me and I wanted to have a vulva like my sister. I tried to hide my cock desperately in shame and guilt without really understanding my behaviour. We are at the end of the 1950s in a binary world where religion and social pressures dominated education and the family. A time when homosexuality was a crime punishable by imprisonment...I wanted to be a girl desperately.
I could not yet understand that in the future I will have a battle to fight with myself when I have my first girlfriends, my first romantic relationships. The last straw is mother explaining to me the cycle of life. Which came, without realizing it, to confirm to me that I would never be a girl by using these words: ‘a young girl becomes a woman at the time of her first menstruation’.
"A time when homosexuality was a crime punishable by imprisonment...I wanted to be a girl desperately."
Gender dysphoria as I grew older was becoming more and more important, wreaking havoc in my life. Unable to recognize myself in my identity – between my sex assigned at birth and the gender I wanted to identify with. I came to love all women regardless, to envy them for what I was not, but also to exist only through them!
In the love and amorous passion with the women I knew a paradox took shape, wanting to keep myself in this binary role imposed on me – the role of seducer – but also of impostor.
This lasted all my life – in the misunderstanding and in the suffering. But wanting one day for this life to be transformed when I understood that I was fighting for my gender identity. That of a woman inhabiting a man’s body. Whilst society was also beginning to understand that gender expression could have nothing to do with the sex assigned at birth and sexual orientation.
Less questioning with this reality and starting to assert myself, in 2007 I came out for the first time to a woman who was 19 years younger than me and whom I married a year later. Many women have inspired me in the past, but my biggest inspiration was this woman. This was the first person I ever spoke to about my questions surrounding my gender identity.
I recognised myself in her and this helped me out of my boyhood. It means a lot to me and I’m very grateful to her. However, in 2014 with my acceptance and desire to live with my identity as a woman, we found ourselves in a homosexual relationship. In her eyes, the social image of our same-sex couple was poorly accepted and ended with a breakup, but this was also the real beginning of my assertion and expression of gender in society.
"This was also the real beginning of my assertion and expression of gender in society."
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What made you want to work with and advocate for 60+ LGBT+ people?
"I saw that I was capable of it, doing very well, so I got a taste of it. I understood what it was like."
It was a great adaptation because of my advanced age from the moment I transitioned into my expression from straight man to lesbian woman. But I felt too lonely at 65 separating myself from my partner, who at one time saw a security in my marriage as we grew older together. Retired now I find I have to face myself as never before, which pushed me to walk so as not to sink.
Before I got involved as a transgender woman activist on behalf of seniors there was a start. It was through LGBT+ organizations, including the The Quebec Lesbian Network and another regional organization for young transgender and non-binary people. This is where I learnt about the LGBT+ community, which allowed me to be up to date all the time – whereas the previous year I knew next to nothing about LGBTQ+ community networks.
At the start of the transition, the more I went into discovering and understanding who I was, the more I saw the ignorance of people in the general population about gender and sexual diversity. The fact of wanting to be recognized as Chloe and a woman first was not well received by those around me. A major point, which caused a loss of relationships, but was also a significant moment in my process of loving myself above all and proudly as Chloé, a woman, was officially being recognized as a female Canadian citizen of Quebec.
From the very beginning, faced with the lack of knowledge and discriminatory behaviour, I felt the need to demystify, inform and educate. Rather than react, to act with respect on what I myself had put years into to be able to understand. I saw that I was capable of it, doing very well, so I got a taste of it. I understood what it was like.
Living loneliness a little better at 67 throughout my journey and experiences, I have decided to speak on behalf of people of my generation, especially when it comes to transgender people. I was still the oldest transgender woman everywhere I went. I couldn't imagine that I was the only visible transgender woman my age and that was the start of a quest to find older transgender people.
It was in 2016 that I got the idea to launch my Transgender Baby Boomer website and talk about myself as a transgender, senior lesbian. It’s so rare to connect with another senior member of the transgender community though that I gave up posting testimonial videos and went out of business on my website, no one really cared about it.
It is said that getting old leads to discrimination and when you are LGBT+ the risk is even higher. As far as I'm concerned at least I have an example. When we started to publicize gender identity and gender dysphoria it was suggested that it was only for young people, as if the old weren't concerned. These are false beliefs; I am living proof of that.
"These are false beliefs; I am living proof of that."
Because it is ignored that people of my generation are rendered invisible in these great social changes even when it took so many years to understand and be accepted, I felt rejected. We lived the same thing just at different ages! I wanted to speak loud and clear about the rejection I was experiencing. Psychologically I was very affected, I was in distress.
Today I know I know all my distress was justified as studies have shown that among LGBT+ seniors the facts are there. We are talking about a smaller family network, a higher tendency to live alone and single. Feeling like a victim of a social system created by homophobia and transphobia can lead to depression, mental health problems, addiction and even suicide. I've been through all these waves of emotions, but my involvement as a volunteer LGBT+ activist has served me well.
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How has your volunteering with Ageing Gayfully and Foundation Emergence affected your life?
During my late transition an important moment arose. It was the meeting with the non-profit LGBT+ organization La Fondation Émergence. Which in its mission fights against homophobia and transphobia through various actions, in particular with the program Aging Gayfully (Pour Que Vieillir Soit Gai). Which trains and educates about concepts related to sexual and gender diversity, the evolution of LGBT+ rights and their impact on different generations, good practices to make one's environment more inclusive for LGBT+ seniors, and a testimonial from an LGBT+ senior about their life experience.
My personal experiences of facing discrimination from my friends and my family because of my gender expression led me to volunteer with La Fondation Émergence. Which has also become my chosen family. This has greatly helped me regain my self-confidence and feel useful in society while doing what I wanted to do at the outset: educate, inform, and demystify about gender and sexual diversity in people of my generation. Talking about my background, my life as an older transgender woman having gone through two or three generations.
The training is aimed primarily at those who work with seniors, but it often happened before the Covid-19 pandemic that the training was also presented to residents of the establishments we were going to visit. For me, it was always a great pleasure to speak to seniors who learned a lot about the LGBTQ+ community and who came to thank me after my testimonies, conversations which often became long discussions. I tell myself that one day it will be me who will be in their place and that I will have been a pioneer in making it known that gender diversity also exists among seniors. I feel privileged to be able to use and share with others this personal achievement that was necessary for my survival.
In addition to the Pour Que Vieillir Soit Gai program, there is another program I am also involved with, the ‘Selected Family’ program in La Fondation Émergence. As I take care of my mother part-time, who is 98 years old, I am therefore considered an LGBT+ caregiver. The ‘Selected Family’ is a discussion group intended for LGBTQ+ people who are family caregivers, or all LGBTQ+ people who are interested in the issue of family caregivers. This discussion group is intended to be a moment for sharing and reflection.
For example, past workshops have covered topics such as: mental health, meditation, the management of aggressive words and gestures, compassion fatigue, the challenges of daily rituals and taxation for caregivers. These are rewarding activities on a personal level, especially during this difficult time of confinement.
"I tell myself that one day it will be me who will be in their place and that I will have been a pioneer in making it known that gender diversity also exists among seniors."
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What do you wish society understood about the struggles around being 60+ and queer?
That aging is first and foremost a reality, socially we are subject to discrimination, which can lead older gay people and lesbians back into the closet. On the other hand, failure to recognize gender diversity in aging LGBT+ people is all the more discriminatory. As I mentioned, society tends to believe that sexuality is lost with age. We do not give enough visibility to the elderly. We should include them more in society. Give them a voice. Encourage older LGBT+ people to talk about themselves, what these major changes in sexual diversity mean to them and seek their opinions.
It is certain that everything that is said or that happens in relation to this fluidity today and the understanding of identity, can call many people of my generation to re-question their own repressed questions about their gender and sexuality and beliefs that they are too old to have the courage to speak out. The older we get, the more difficult it becomes to get rid of the taboos imposed in the past by society. Groups or centres for people aged 60 and over should be encouraged to recognize and further explore this need among these people, which is as important as among younger people.
One thing is for sure, seniors need role models they can relate to. It is therefore desirable to take one's place in society as an aging person and to encourage those who dare to speak out. For the queer community, they are models of sexual and gender diversity who must emerge, even in the face of discrimination, and seek allies. This beginning of age inclusion in the queer community is relatively new but it is increasing. In a way such inclusion is the natural progression for our increasingly aging population in general. As we are faced with an increasing life expectancy this significant population needs to be recognised in the LGBT+ community.
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How can the queer community do better to support more mature people?
I wish that we recognise above all, on the behalf of the youngest of the Queer community who are going through great radical changes right now, those who have had to stand in silence in hetero roles in the past. Those who did not have the chance to experience life, and transition, as smoothly as the community does today, but who, nevertheless experienced these same questions about their own identity that society once repressed.
It is thanks to the fight of the older people who have stood up for the LGBT+ community that the doors to these great changes in sexual diversity have opened.
My wish would be that movements coming from the queer community are intergenerational. That the self-recognition and acceptance around gender and sexuality expression embraced by older LGBT+ women are not side-lined. That all ages in the community and their movements run in parallel and in support of one another. As far as I am concerned, as an elder woman of sexual and gender diversity living in Canada, but more specifically in Quebec, today I am part of the heritage of the LGBT community as a queer transgender woman. It’s a wealth in itself!
The queer community challenges intergeneration. The prejudices should be eliminated first towards the elderly, uniting everyone in appreciating the beauty of the LGBT+ generations from different times. Learning from us would be a good attitude to adopt in supporting aging LGBT+ people. We have a circle of sometimes tragic past experiences with the criminalization of homosexuality. I also think of the era of HIV which today makes many older LGBT+ people very vulnerable and isolated. Think of them! Support them! Embrace them!
On the other hand, we LGBT+ elders also have a lot to learn from the young and old alike about the importance of inclusion and diversity in the face of human beings and all our many facets.
"My wish would be that movements coming from the queer community are intergenerational."
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What does the word ‘identity’ mean to you?
To be unique in and of yourself. That applies to everything that touches humanity, be it culture, religion, race. Identity is what differentiates us from one another and what makes different nations beautiful. Each identity has the right to respect from others in its mode of expression. If we are talking about being recognized in our sexual or gender identity other than the sex assigned to us at birth, this is a right today that needs to be respected. In my case, this is new. This is the reason that led me to make my transition so late in my life.
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Who are your LGBT+ Heroes?
At first glance, it was composers and performers who appealed to me.
Boy Georges was the most significant person to me in 1983 in recognizing my questioning of my gender expression, particularly in his song - Karma Chameleon. I am a man without conviction.
He was distinguished by his learned make-up and extravagant costumes. Sometimes showing his homosexuality. I really liked his androgynous style. I dreamed of having his courage to be able to express my femininity to myself in my boyish body.
Tracy Chapman kept being a lesbian a secret at a time when her sexual orientation was stigmatised. This came as a surprise considering that she is an icon in the field of music, a four-time Grammy Award-winning multi-platinum singer-songwriter.
In addition to her songs, she fought for the rights of LGBT+ women, and is known for her social activism as a supporter of Amnesty International, AIDS research, and gender and race equality.
I have always been a feminist and had a great deal of admiration for those women who dared to stand up for their equal rights when I was on the other side of the fence.
Article Written By Chloé Viau
(She/Her)
Resource Links
TRANS Mauricie/Centre-du-Québec
The Quebec Lesbian Network
Fondation emergence
● Aging Gayfully, our awareness program in the elderly
● ProAlly our awareness program in the workplace
● Chosen Family our program to help family caregivers
Also presently executive administrator at Gender Creatives Kids
My YouTube
lstw mag #3
'Chloe behind the scenes: Beauty
editorial' - A highlight integration into the lesbian and queer world through modelling to represent inter-generationality within the lesbian community.